Mark Twain's Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc
Chapter 39
    IT WAS away past midnight, and had been a tremendous day in the matter of
excitement and fatigue, but that was no matter to Joan when there was
business on hand. She did not think of bed. The generals followed her to
her official quarters, and she delivered her orders to them as fast as
she could talk, and they sent them off to their different commands as
fast as delivered; wherefore the messengers galloping hither and thither
raised a world of clatter and racket in the still streets; and soon were
added to this the music of distant bugles and the roll of drums--notes of
preparation; for the vanguard would break camp at dawn.
   
The generals were soon dismissed, but I wasn't; nor Joan; for it was my
turn to work, now. Joan walked the floor and dictated a summons to the
Duke of Burgundy to lay down his arms and make peace and exchange pardons
with the King; or, if he must fight, go fight the Saracens.
"Pardonnez-vous l'un ... l'autre de bon coeligeur, entierement, ainsi que
doivent faire loyaux chretiens, et, s'il vous plait de guerroyer, allez
contre les Sarrasins." It was long, but it was good, and had the sterling
ring to it. It is my opinion that it was as fine and simple and
straightforward and eloquent a state paper as she ever uttered.
   
It was delivered into the hands of a courier, and he galloped away with
it. The Joan dismissed me, and told me to go to the inn and stay, and in
the morning give to her father the parcel which she had left there. It
contained presents for the Domremy relatives and friends and a peasant
dress which she had bought for herself. She said she would say good-by to
her father and uncle in the morning if it should still be their purpose
to go, instead of tarrying awhile to see the city.
   
I didn't say anything, of course, but I could have said that wild horses
couldn't keep those men in that town half a day. They waste the glory of
being the first to carry the great news to Domremy--the taxes remitted
forever!--and hear the bells clang and clatter, and the people cheer and
shout? Oh, not they. Patay and Orleans and the Coronation were events
which in a vague way these men understood to be colossal; but they were
colossal mists, films, abstractions; this was a gigantic reality!
   
When I got there, do you suppose they were abed! Quite the reverse. They
and the rest were as mellow as mellow could be; and the Paladin was doing
his battles in great style, and the old peasants were endangering the
building with their applause. He was doing Patay now; and was bending his
big frame forward and laying out the positions and movements with a rake
here and a rake there of his formidable sword on the floor, and the
peasants were stooped over with their hands on their spread knees
observing with excited eyes and ripping out ejaculations of wonder and
admiration all along:
   
"Yes, here we were, waiting--waiting for the word; our horses fidgeting
and snorting and dancing to get away, we lying back on the bridles till
our bodies fairly slanted to the rear; the word rang out at last--'Go!'
and we went!
   
"Went? There was nothing like it ever seen! Where we swept by squads of
scampering English, the mere wind of our passage laid them flat in piles
and rows! Then we plunged into the ruck of Fastolfe's frantic
battle-corps and tore through it like a hurricane, leaving a causeway of
the dead stretching far behind; no tarrying, no slacking rein, but on!
on! on! far yonder in the distance lay our prey--Talbot and his host
looming vast and dark like a storm-cloud brooding on the sea! Down we
swooped upon them, glooming all the air with a quivering pall of dead
leaves flung up by the whirlwind of our flight. In another moment we
should have struck them as world strikes world when disorbited
constellations crash into the Milky way, but by misfortune and the
inscrutable dispensation of God I was recognized! Talbot turned white,
and shouting, 'Save yourselves, it is the Standard-Bearer of Joan of
Arc!' drove his spurs home till they met in the middle of his horse's
entrails, and fled the field with his billowing multitudes at his back! I
could have cursed myself for not putting on a disguise. I saw reproach in
the eyes of her Excellency, and was bitterly ashamed. I had caused what
seemed an irreparable disaster. Another might have gone aside to grieve,
as not seeing any way to mend it; but I thank God I am not of those.
Great occasions only summon as with a trumpet-call the slumbering
reserves of my intellect. I saw my opportunity in an instant--in the next
I was away! Through the woods I vanished--fst!--like an extinguished
light! Away around through the curtaining forest I sped, as if on wings,
none knowing what was become of me, none suspecting my design. Minute
after minute passed, on and on I flew; on, and still on; and at last with
a great cheer I flung my Banner to the breeze and burst out in front of
Talbot! Oh, it was a mighty thought! That weltering chaos of distracted
men whirled and surged backward like a tidal wave which has struck a
continent, and the day was ours! Poor helpless creatures, they were in a
trap; they were surrounded; they could not escape to the rear, for there
was our army; they could not escape to the front, for there was I. Their
hearts shriveled in their bodies, their hands fell listless at their
sides. They stood still, and at our leisure we slaughtered them to a man;
all except Talbot and Fastolfe, whom I saved and brought away, one under
each arm."
   
Well, there is no denying it, the Paladin was in great form that night.
Such style! such noble grace of gesture, such grandeur of attitude, such
energy when he got going! such steady rise, on such sure wing, such
nicely graduated expenditures of voice according to the weight of the
matter, such skilfully calculated approaches to his surprises and
explosions, such belief-compelling sincerity of tone and manner, such a
climaxing peal from his brazen lungs, and such a lightning-vivid picture
of his mailed form and flaunting banner when he burst out before that
despairing army! And oh, the gentle art of the last half of his last
sentence--delivered in the careless and indolent tone of one who has
finished his real story, and only adds a colorless and inconsequential
detail because it has happened to occur to him in a lazy way.
   
It was a marvel to see those innocent peasants. Why, they went all to
pieces with enthusiasm, and roared out applauses fit to raise the roof
and wake the dead. When they had cooled down at last and there was
silence but for the heaving and panting, old Laxart said, admiringly:
   
"As it seems to me, you are an army in your single person."
   
"Yes, that is what he is," said Noel Rainguesson, convincingly. "He is a
terror; and not just in this vicinity. His mere name carries a shudder
with it to distant lands--just he mere name; and when he frowns, the
shadow of it falls as far as Rome, and the chickens go to roost an hour
before schedule time. Yes; and some say--"
   
"Noel Rainguesson, you are preparing yourself for trouble. I will say
just one word to you, and it will be to your advantage to--"
   
I saw that the usual thing had got a start. No man could prophesy when it
would end. So I delivered Joan's message and went off to bed.
   
Joan made her good-byes to those old fellows in the morning, with loving
embraces and many tears, and with a packed multitude for sympathizers,
and they rode proudly away on their precious horses to carry their great
news home. I had seen better riders, some will say that; for horsemanship
was a new art to them.
   
The vanguard moved out at dawn and took the road, with bands braying and
banners flying; the second division followed at eight. Then came the
Burgundian ambassadors, and lost us the rest of that day and the whole of
the next. But Joan was on hand, and so they had their journey for their
pains. The rest of us took the road at dawn, next morning, July 20th. And
got how far? Six leagues. Tremouille was getting in his sly work with the
vacillating King, you see. The King stopped at St. Marcoul and prayed
three days. Precious time lost--for us; precious time gained for Bedford.
He would know how to use it.
   
We could not go on without the King; that would be to leave him in the
conspirators' camp. Joan argued, reasoned, implored; and at last we got
under way again.
   
Joan's prediction was verified. It was not a campaign, it was only
another holiday excursion. English strongholds lined our route; they
surrendered without a blow; we garrisoned them with Frenchmen and passed
on. Bedford was on the march against us with his new army by this time,
and on the 25th of July the hostile forces faced each other and made
preparation for battle; but Bedford's good judgment prevailed, and he
turned and retreated toward Paris. Now was our chance. Our men were in
great spirits.
   
Will you believe it? Our poor stick of a King allowed his worthless
advisers to persuade him to start back for Gien, whence he had set out
when we first marched for Rheims and the Coronation! And we actually did
start back. The fifteen-day truce had just been concluded with the Duke
of Burgundy, and we would go and tarry at Gien until he should deliver
Paris to us without a fight.
   
We marched to Bray; then the King changed his mind once more, and with it
his face toward Paris. Joan dictated a letter to the citizens of Rheims
to encourage them to keep heart in spite of the truce, and promising to
stand by them. She furnished them the news herself that the Kin had made
this truce; and in speaking of it she was her usual frank self. She said
she was not satisfied with it, and didn't know whether she would keep it
or not; that if she kept it, it would be solely out of tenderness for the
King's honor. All French children know those famous words. How naive they
are! "De cette treve qui a ete faite, je ne suis pas contente, et je ne
sais si je la tiendrai. Si je la tiens, ce sera seulement pour garder
l'honneur du roi." But in any case, she said, she would not allow the
blood royal to be abused, and would keep the army in good order and ready
for work at the end of the truce.
   
Poor child, to have to fight England, Burgundy, and a French conspiracy
all at the same time--it was too bad. She was a match for the others, but
a conspiracy--ah, nobody is a match for that, when the victim that is to
be injured is weak and willing. It grieved her, these troubled days, to
be so hindered and delayed and baffled, and at times she was sad and the
tears lay near the surface. Once, talking with her good old faithful
friend and servant, the Bastard of Orleans, she said:
   
"Ah, if it might but please God to let me put off this steel raiment and
go back to my father and my mother, and tend my sheep again with my
sister and my brothers, who would be so glad to see me!"
   
By the 12th of August we were camped near Dampmartin. Later we had a
brush with Bedford's rear-guard, and had hopes of a big battle on the
morrow, but Bedford and all his force got away in the night and went on
toward Paris.
   
Charles sent heralds and received the submission of Beauvais. The Bishop
Pierre Cauchon, that faithful friend and slave of the English, was not
able to prevent it, though he did his best. He was obscure then, but his
name was to travel round the globe presently, and live forever in the
curses of France! Bear with me now, while I spit in fancy upon his grave.
   
Compiegne surrendered, and hauled down the English flag. On the 14th we
camped two leagues from Senlis. Bedford turned and approached, and took
up a strong position. We went against him, but all our efforts to beguile
him out from his intrenchments failed, though he had promised us a duel
in the open field. Night shut down. Let him look our for the morning! But
in the morning he was gone again.
   
We entered Compiegne the 18th of August, turning out the English garrison
and hoisting our own flag.
   
On the 23d Joan gave command to move upon Paris. The King and the clique
were not satisfied with this, and retired sulking to Senlis, which had
just surrendered. Within a few days many strong places submitted--Creil,
Pont-Saint-Maxence, Choisy, Gournay-sur-Aronde, Remy, Le
Neufville-en-Hez, Moguay, Chantilly, Saintines. The English power was
tumbling, crash after crash! And still the King sulked and disapproved,
and was afraid of our movement against the capital.
   
On the 26th of August, 1429, Joan camped at St. Denis; in effect, under
the walls of Paris.
   
And still the King hung back and was afraid. If we could but have had him
there to back us with his authority! Bedford had lost heart and decided
to waive resistance and go an concentrate his strength in the best and
loyalest province remaining to him--Normandy. Ah, if we could only have
persuaded the King to come and countenance us with his presence and
approval at this supreme moment!
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