Mark Twain's Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc
Chapter 20
    THE NEXT day Joan wanted to go against the enemy again, but it was the
feast of the Ascension, and the holy council of bandit generals were too
pious to be willing to profane it with bloodshed. But privately they
profaned it with plottings, a sort of industry just in their line. They
decided to do the only thing proper to do now in the new circumstances of
the case--feign an attack on the most important bastille on the Orleans
side, and then, if the English weakened the far more important fortresses
on the other side of the river to come to its help, cross in force and
capture those works. This would give them the bridge and free
communication with the Sologne, which was French territory. They decided
to keep this latter part of the program secret from Joan.
   
Joan intruded and took them by surprise. She asked them what they were
about and what they had resolved upon. They said they had resolved to
attack the most important of the English bastilles on the Orleans side
next morning--and there the spokesman stopped. Joan said:
   
"Well, go on."
   
"There is nothing more. That is all."
   
"Am I to believe this? That is to say, am I to believe that you have lost
your wits?" She turned to Dunois, and said, "Bastard, you have sense,
answer me this: if this attack is made and the bastille taken, how much
better off would we be than we are now?"
   
The Bastard hesitated, and then began some rambling talk not quite
germane to the question. Joan interrupted him and said:
   
"That will not do, good Bastard, you have answered. Since the Bastard is
not able to mention any advantage to be gained by taking that bastille
and stopping there, it is not likely that any of you could better the
matter. You waste much time here in inventing plans that lead to nothing,
and making delays that are a damage. Are you concealing something from
me? Bastard, this council has a general plan, I take it; without going
into details, what is it?"
   
"It is the same it was in the beginning, seven months ago--to get
provisions for a long siege, then sit down and tire the English out."
   
"In the name of God! As if seven months was not enough, you want to
provide for a year of it. Now ye shall drop these pusillanimous
dreams--the English shall go in three days!"
   
Several exclaimed:
   
"Ah, General, General, be prudent!"
   
"Be prudent and starve? Do ye call that war? I tell you this, if you do
not already know it: The new circumstances have changed the face of
matters. The true point of attack has shifted; it is on the other side of
the river now. One must take the fortifications that command the bridge.
The English know that if we are not fools and cowards we will try to do
that. They are grateful for your piety in wasting this day. They will
reinforce the bridge forts from this side to-night, knowing what ought to
happen to-morrow. You have but lost a day and made our task harder, for
we will cross and take the bridge forts. Bastard, tell me the truth--does
not this council know that there is no other course for us than the one I
am speaking of?"
   
Dunois conceded that the council did know it to be the most desirable,
but considered it impracticable; and he excused the council as well as he
could by saying that inasmuch as nothing was really and rationally to be
hoped for but a long continuance of the siege and wearying out of the
English, they were naturally a little afraid of Joan's impetuous notions.
He said:
   
"You see, we are sure that the waiting game is the best, whereas you
would carry everything by storm."
   
"That I would!--and moreover that I will! You have my orders--here and
now. We will move upon the forts of the south bank to-morrow at dawn."
   
"And carry them by storm?"
   
"Yes, carry them by storm!"
   
La Hire came clanking in, and heard the last remark. He cried out:
   
"By my baton, that is the music I love to hear! Yes, that is the right
time and the beautiful words, my General--we will carry them by storm!"
   
He saluted in his large way and came up and shook Joan by the hand.
   
Some member of the council was heard to say:
   
"It follows, then, that we must begin with the bastille St. John, and
that will give the English time to--"
   
Joan turned and said:
   
"Give yourselves no uneasiness about the bastille St. John. The English
will know enough to retire from it and fall back on the bridge bastilles
when they see us coming." She added, with a touch of sarcasm, "Even a
war-council would know enough to do that itself."
   
Then she took her leave. La Hire made this general remark to the council:
   
"She is a child, and that is all ye seem to see. Keep to that
superstition if you must, but you perceive that this child understands
this complex game of war as well as any of you; and if you want my
opinion without the trouble of asking for it, here you have it without
ruffles or embroidery--by God, I think she can teach the best of you how
to play it!"
   
Joan had spoken truly; the sagacious English saw that the policy of the
French had undergone a revolution; that the policy of paltering and
dawdling was ended; that in place of taking blows, blows were ready to be
struck now; therefore they made ready for the new state of things by
transferring heavy reinforcements to the bastilles of the south bank from
those of the north.
   
The city learned the great news that once more in French history, after
all these humiliating years, France was going to take the offensive; that
France, so used to retreating, was going to advance; that France, so long
accustomed to skulking, was going to face about and strike. The joy of
the people passed all bounds. The city walls were black with them to see
the army march out in the morning in that strange new position--its
front, not its tail, toward an English camp. You shall imagine for
yourselves what the excitement was like and how it expressed itself, when
Joan rode out at the head of the host with her banner floating above her.
   
We crossed the five in strong force, and a tedious long job it was, for
the boats were small and not numerous. Our landing on the island of St.
Aignan was not disputed. We threw a bridge of a few boats across the
narrow channel thence to the south shore and took up our march in good
order and unmolested; for although there was a fortress there--St.
John--the English vacated and destroyed it and fell back on the bridge
forts below as soon as our first boats were seen to leave the Orleans
shore; which was what Joan had said would happen, when she was disputing
with the council.
   
We moved down the shore and Joan planted her standard before the bastille
of the Augustins, the first of the formidable works that protected the
end of the bridge. The trumpets sounded the assault, and two charges
followed in handsome style; but we were too weak, as yet, for our main
body was still lagging behind. Before we could gather for a third assault
the garrison of St. Prive were seen coming up to reinforce the big
bastille. They came on a run, and the Augustins sallied out, and both
forces came against us with a rush, and sent our small army flying in a
panic, and followed us, slashing and slaying, and shouting jeers and
insults at us.
   
Joan was doing her best to rally the men, but their wits were gone, their
hearts were dominated for the moment by the old-time dread of the
English. Joan's temper flamed up, and she halted and commanded the
trumpets to sound the advance. Then she wheeled about and cried out:
   
"If there is but a dozen of you that are not cowards, it is
enough--follow me!"
   
Away she went, and after her a few dozen who had heard her words and been
inspired by them. The pursuing force was astonished to see her sweeping
down upon them with this handful of men, and it was their turn now to
experience a grisly fright--surely this is a witch, this is a child of
Satan! That was their thought--and without stopping to analyze the matter
they turned and fled in a panic.
   
Our flying squadrons heard the bugle and turned to look; and when they
saw the Maid's banner speeding in the other direction and the enemy
scrambling ahead of it in disorder, their courage returned and they came
scouring after us.
   
La Hire heard it and hurried his force forward and caught up with us just
as we were planting our banner again before the ramparts of the
Augustins. We were strong enough now. We had a long and tough piece of
work before us, but we carried it through before night, Joan keeping us
hard at it, and she and La Hire saying we were able to take that big
bastille, and must. The English fought like--well, they fought like the
English; when that is said, there is no more to say. We made assault
after assault, through the smoke and flame and the deafening
cannon-blasts, and at last as the sun was sinking we carried the place
with a rush, and planted our standard on its walls.
   
The Augustins was ours. The Tourelles must be ours, too, if we would free
the bridge and raise the siege. We had achieved one great undertaking,
Joan was determined to accomplish the other. We must lie on our arms
where we were, hold fast to what we had got, and be ready for business in
the morning. So Joan was not minded to let the men be demoralized by
pillage and riot and carousings; she had the Augustins burned, with all
its stores in it, excepting the artillery and ammunition.
   
Everybody was tired out with this long day's hard work, and of course
this was the case with Joan; still, she wanted to stay with the army
before the Tourelles, to be ready for the assault in the morning. The
chiefs argued with her, and at last persuaded her to go home and prepare
for the great work by taking proper rest, and also by having a leech look
to a wound which she had received in her foot. So we crossed with them
and went home.
   
Just as usual, we found the town in a fury of joy, all the bells
clanging, everybody shouting, and several people drunk. We never went out
or came in without furnishing good and sufficient reasons for one of
these pleasant tempests, and so the tempest was always on hand. There had
been a blank absence of reasons for this sort of upheavals for the past
seven months, therefore the people too to the upheavals with all the more
relish on that account.
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