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Mark Twain's Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc
Chapter 21
TO GET away from the usual crowd of visitors and have a rest, Joan went
with Catherine straight to the apartment which the two occupied together,
and there they took their supper and there the wound was dressed. But
then, instead of going to bed, Joan, weary as she was, sent the Dwarf for
me, in spite of Catherine's protests and persuasions. She said she had
something on her mind, and must send a courier to Domremy with a letter
for our old Pere Fronte to read to her mother. I came, and she began to
dictate. After some loving words and greetings to her mother and family,
came this:
"But the thing which moves me to write now, is to say that when you
presently hear that I am wounded, you shall give yourself no concern
about it, and refuse faith to any that shall try to make you believe it
is serious."
She was going on, when Catherine spoke up and said:
"Ah, but it will fright her so to read these words. Strike them out,
Joan, strike them out, and wait only one day--two days at most--then
write and say your foot was wounded but is well again--for it surely be
well then, or very near it. Don't distress her, Joan; do as I say."
A laugh like the laugh of the old days, the impulsive free laugh of an
untroubled spirit, a laugh like a chime of bells, was Joan's answer; then
she said:
"My foot? Why should I write about such a scratch as that? I was not
thinking of it, dear heart."
"Child, have you another wound and a worse, and have not spoken of it?
What have you been dreaming about, that you--"
She had jumped up, full of vague fears, to have the leech called back at
once, but Joan laid her hand upon her arm and made her sit down again,
saying:
"There, now, be tranquil, there is no other wound, as yet; I am writing
about one which I shall get when we storm that bastille tomorrow."
Catherine had the look of one who is trying to understand a puzzling
proposition but cannot quite do it. She said, in a distraught fashion:
"A wound which you are going to get? But--but why grieve your mother when
it--when it may not happen?"
"May not? Why, it will."
The puzzle was a puzzle still. Catherine said in that same abstracted way
as before:
"Will. It is a strong word. I cannot seem to--my mind is not able to take
hold of this. Oh, Joan, such a presentiment is a dreadful thing--it takes
one's peace and courage all away. Cast it from you!--drive it out! It
will make your whole night miserable, and to no good; for we will hope--"
"But it isn't a presentiment--it is a fact. And it will not make me
miserable. It is uncertainties that do that, but this is not an
uncertainty."
"Joan, do you know it is going to happen?"
"Yes, I know it. My Voices told me."
"Ah," said Catherine, resignedly, "if they told you-- But are you sure it
was they?--quite sure?"
"Yes, quite. It will happen--there is no doubt."
"It is dreadful! Since when have you know it?"
"Since--I think it is several weeks." Joan turned to me. "Louis, you will
remember. How long is it?"
"Your Excellency spoke of it first to the King, in Chinon," I answered;
"that was as much as seven weeks ago. You spoke of it again the 20th of
April, and also the 22d, two weeks ago, as I see by my record here."
These marvels disturbed Catherine profoundly, but I had long ceased to be
surprised at them. One can get used to anything in this world. Catherine
said:
"And it is to happen to-morrow?--always to-morrow? Is it the same date
always? There has been no mistake, and no confusion?"
"No," Joan said, "the 7th of May is the date--there is no other."
"Then you shall not go a step out of this house till that awful day is
gone by! You will not dream of it, Joan, will you?--promise that you will
stay with us."
But Joan was not persuaded. She said:
"It would not help the matter, dear good friend. The wound is to come,
and come to-morrow. If I do not seek it, it will seek me. My duty calls
me to that place to-morrow; I should have to go if my death were waiting
for me there; shall I stay away for only a wound? Oh, no, we must try to
do better than that."
"Then you are determined to go?"
"Of a certainty, yes. There is only one thing that I can do for
France--hearten her soldiers for battle and victory." She thought a
moment, then added, "However, one should not be unreasonable, and I would
do much to please you, who are so good to me. Do you love France?"
I wondered what she might be contriving now, but I saw no clue. Catherine
said, reproachfully:
"Ah, what have I done to deserve this question?"
"Then you do love France. I had not doubted it, dear. Do not be hurt, but
answer me--have you ever told a lie?"
"In my life I have not wilfully told a lie--fibs, but no lies."
"That is sufficient. You love France and do not tell lies; therefore I
will trust you. I will go or I will stay, as you shall decide."
"Oh, I thank you from my heart, Joan! How good and dear it is of you to
do this for me! Oh, you shall stay, and not go!"
In her delight she flung her arms about Joan's neck and squandered
endearments upon her the least of which would have made me rich, but, as
it was, they only made me realize how poor I was--how miserably poor in
what I would most have prized in this world. Joan said:
"Then you will send word to my headquarters that I am not going?"
"Oh, gladly. Leave that to me."
"It is good of you. And how will you word it?--for it must have proper
official form. Shall I word it for you?"
"Oh, do--for you know about these solemn procedures and stately
proprieties, and I have had no experience."
"Then word it like this: 'The chief of staff is commanded to make known
to the King's forces in garrison and in the field, that the
General-in-Chief of the Armies of France will not face the English on the
morrow, she being afraid she may get hurt. Signed, JOAN OF ARC, by the
hand of CATHERINE BOUCHER, who loves France.'"
There was a pause--a silence of the sort that tortures one into stealing
a glance to see how the situation looks, and I did that. There was a
loving smile on Joan's face, but the color was mounting in crimson waves
into Catherine's, and her lips were quivering and the tears gathering;
then she said:
"Oh, I am so ashamed of myself!--and you are so noble and brave and wise,
and I am so paltry--so paltry and such a fool!" and she broke down and
began to cry, and I did so want to take her in my arms and comfort her,
but Joan did it, and of course I said nothing. Joan did it well, and most
sweetly and tenderly, but I could have done it as well, though I knew it
would be foolish and out of place to suggest such a thing, and might make
an awkwardness, too, and be embarrassing to us all, so I did not offer,
and I hope I did right and for the best, though I could not know, and was
many times tortured with doubts afterward as having perhaps let a chance
pass which might have changed all my life and made it happier and more
beautiful than, alas, it turned out to be. For this reason I grieve yet,
when I think of that scene, and do not like to call it up out of the
deeps of my memory because of the pangs it brings.
Well, well, a good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this
world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from
souring. To set that little trap for Catherine was as good and effective
a way as any to show her what a grotesque thing she was asking of Joan.
It was a funny idea now, wasn't it, when you look at it all around? Even
Catherine dried up her tears and laughed when she thought of the English
getting hold of the French Commander-in-Chief's reason for staying out of
a battle. She granted that they could have a good time over a thing like
that.
We got to work on the letter again, and of course did not have to strike
out the passage about the wound. Joan was in fine spirits; but when she
got to sending messages to this, that, and the other playmate and friend,
it brought our village and the Fairy Tree and the flowery plain and the
browsing sheep and all the peaceful beauty of our old humble home-place
back, and the familiar names began to tremble on her lips; and when she
got to Haumette and Little Mengette it was no use, her voice broke and
she couldn't go on. She waited a moment, then said:
"Give them my love--my warm love--my deep love--oh, out of my heart of
hearts! I shall never see our home any more."
Now came Pasquerel, Joan's confessor, and introduced a gallant knight,
the Sire de Rais, who had been sent with a message. He said he was
instructed to say that the council had decided that enough had been done
for the present; that it would be safest and best to be content with what
God had already done; that the city was now well victualed and able to
stand a long siege; that the wise course must necessarily be to withdraw
the troops from the other side of the river and resume the
defensive--therefore they had decided accordingly.
"The incurable cowards!" exclaimed Joan. "So it was to get me away from
my men that they pretended so much solicitude about my fatigue. Take this
message back, not to the council--I have no speeches for those disguised
ladies' maids--but to the Bastard and La Hire, who are men. Tell them the
army is to remain where it is, and I hold them responsible if this
command miscarries. And say the offensive will be resumed in the morning.
You may go, good sir."
Then she said to her priest:
"Rise early, and be by me all the day. There will be much work on my
hands, and I shall be hurt between my neck and my shoulder."
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